For the last five months I have held on to bitterness, resentment, anger and many more negative feelings. I had put blame on someone, and I refused to look at the situation in a different light.
I don’t know what changed my mind, it might be because I’m happier now, and feel a little lighter since I removed a lot of the things that were holding me back. I have finally come to terms with the fact that if none of this negative crap had happened to me, I wouldn’t be where I am right now, I’d still be stuck in a pit of depression and anxiety.
But forgiving someone who hurt you isn’t easy, the thing is I let it happen. I’ve heard this over and over again, and it’s very true; No one has the power to make you feel anything unless you choose to let them. (I’m sure the quote was much more eloquent than that, but you get the gist.)
When I realised that I no longer wanted to be weighed down by all the bullshit, I thought it was a great idea to reach out to the person I was putting all the blame on. I told them I was over it, I was happy, I didn’t hold anything against them and I wished them best of luck. (I doubt they read the message, but at least I tried.)
Some days are harder than others to be positive about it all. I just have to remind myself that I moved away from my small country town and into the city, and because of that I’ve finally got the courage to do things I would never have thought I’d do, not in a hundred lifetimes. But here I am, doing it all, planning my future, and feeling excited about it.
Fear doesn’t rule my life anymore. And it’s all thanks to the person who no longer exists in my life, they can’t have all the credit it though, because most of it was me.